The Alter Ego Effect

I fucking hate this sort of How to Win Friends and Influence People airport business book whose title itself is like when you watch a trailer to a movie that contains basically the whole plot: "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck", "Everything is fucked, a book about hope" (in large print edition), "The Courage to be Disliked". All these books constantly commit the sin of forgetting that their reader has a working hippocampus. One point repeated ad nauseam with multiple case studies with the names changed so that it may as well just be made up from an author who uses their proximity to fame and success as the ultimate capital s Source of wisdom, sprinkled with scientific studies yet-to-be-replicated as if the mention of the word 'study' should be enough to assuage the reader that yes, I have done my research into my anecdotal evidence, and science backs up my presuppositions, so there.

Ikigai was the worst, relying almost entirely on Japanese mysticism as if the Japanese have it all figured out. Do something that fulfills these 4 circles in a large Venn diagram: 'What you're good at', 'What you get paid for', 'What you like' and 'What the world needs'. After that, read these hundreds of examples about how Japanese people live really long despite the fact that its actually quite complicated to figure out why they live so long. Honestly you're better off just reading something spiritual like The Myth of Sisyphus or Siddhartha and then learning a lot about nutrition, rather than relying on 'A former software engineer' (jesus) and eh, a translator (?) to interpret science for you.

Alter Ego posits that you can create alter egos to identify with in special circumstances, to distance yourself from the person that you are and instead become one, in a certain area, that you need or want to be. It is very closely tied to performance (sports) psychology. I am sure that it is a good idea, for even Walt Whitman, poet of the 1800s, said:

Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)

I have three areas where I have identified it would be good to have an alter ego:

1. Work - I already basically do. I have noticed what kind of person seems to be well-respected and easily forgiven in the workplace and I have somewhat molded myself to that person. I am quick to say yes, I am rare to complain. If I do complain, I must make sure that I have prioritised the complaint to be actionable, no complaining about stuff you can't change easily. If someone suggests an idea or wants something done, do not talk about the difficulties of doing it, just go do it. Be as independent as possible and mostly ask for help to facilitate relationships or when there really is no clear answer (like where a certain thing in the company is). Be detail orientated and test everything you do thoroughly before releasing it, as bugs heavily affect your reputation. Basically be a go-getter. And be happy to be there. In general you have options about where you are, so get the most out of anywhere. Generally by trying really hard and not fucking up (more important than doing an excellent job) people will come to trust you for your reliability and give you more exciting opportunities. And all it takes is to appear passionate. Eventually I have become passionate about various things, I like to be left alone to work without supervision, so I have to prove that I can do that. All of this is a conglomeration of people that I have seen succeed at work.

You know, considering... this... I don't think I really have any other alter egos. Of course things around me change the parts of me that I express to others. But other than work, I don't think I really bother with the alter ego. I don't generally care very much if I get along with people or need to, I just amble along, bumping into things and eventually someone or something I like comes along.

In general if I had a need for an alter ego, I would seek to make that change in myself. For instance, in many ways I believe that all thought is really just habit. For specific thoughts, one can undergo a period of deliberate observation and effort to change how one reacts in many different scenarios. The crux to me seems to be how much you identify with it. If you find a behaviour from others annoying, you can justify it each way to yourself, and examine how that feels to you. If you want to let it go, it is not just about 'letting it go', but instead a deliberate campaign of revision of one's thought patterns.